I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
