I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
