I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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