Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize