Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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