now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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