Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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