there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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