I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
