just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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