Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
