I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
