I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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