Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My bed smells like the plague
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