Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
