You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
