Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
