just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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