i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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