FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
