Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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