i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
