she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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