Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
