marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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