yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize