It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
