i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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