Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wanna passion pit in your ass
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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