CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
