But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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