I molested 6 butterflies tonight
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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