Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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