ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize