Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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