Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
