I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
