D3 body, D1 cock
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There are leaves in my underwear?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
