before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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