Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Of course I have a pirate flag
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize