David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
