he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
