you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
