There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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