I didn't shave. On purpose
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
