before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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