I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
