hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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