Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
