last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
