you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
