I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
