Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
