how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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