have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
