my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
