first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
