let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
