Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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